I Love My Kids…I Hate Parenting
I’ve heard of the term overstimulation in regards to children and babies but I never thought of it when it came to adults nonetheless parents.
Cause ya’ll…I’ve been wanting to run away from my own home.
Between my preteen thinking I don’t understand anything and talking to me like I’m “one of her lil friends” when she don’t get her way and my three year old who swear she’s the BOSS of everything and everyone in the house & now throw in the fact Im back in the workforce world full time. I just want to SCREAM.
I’m annoyed and exhausted from all of the decision making, emotional neediness. I either find myself screaming at my kids or just closing my eyes and taking really deep looooooooong breaths to avoid an emotional breakdown.
As a hypersensitive parent..I love my kids, I HATE parenting
After a particularly stressful day of cleaning and preparing for my first day at my new job turned evening with a vomit episode, toys scattered everywhere, tv way too loud in the background & siblings screaming at each other —-I lost it. Yup…F bombs flying lost it on everything and everyone, went into my room laid on the bed and took very long deep breaths & I thought something has to change.
So I went on our good ol friend Google & came across an article in parents magazine by Parents Magazine (Link To Article) & the first line spoke to my soul. It read “ Several years ago, I seriously questioned whether I was cut out to be a mom..” I was like same sis same..literally as we speak I’m asking the Lord where did I go wrong?
On the outside looking in ..my need to have the house shut down, I mean like —bedtime routine done and all lights out & everyone in their respective sleeping quarters SHUT DOWN by 9pm sharp may seem like a control obsessed manic.
But in all actuality if that doesn’t happen & I can’t decompress I go into panic mode. I can literally feel my brain pulsating, lights are too bright, sound is too loud for me and everything and everyone irritates me. That’s when monster mama emerges. To avoid having “ monster mama” happen here are 3 ways to help highly sensitive/ overstimulated parent.
ACTS OF SERVICE
Almost most times than none you can tell when an overstimulated parent goes into panic mode. A quick easy way to diffuse a situation is to help out with a task.
Even something small will help ease the mind of a HSP. Take out the trash, clean the dishes after dinner or better yet entertain the babies while we do the tasks we are focused on doing. Trust me this helps A BUNCH!
Talk with your partner or family on what they can do to help you out in the house to keep the stress level low.
RECOGNIZE THE TRIGGERS
Knowing what sets off the overstimulation can help prevent the blow up from happening - makes sense right? I personally have systems in place to help No bring out monster mama. For example I hate coming home or waking up to dirty dishes in the sink especially when I know I’m going to cook & it’s going to accumulate.
So now I have a routine where I actually use my dishwasher in my apartment- I’ll load up dirty Dishes in it throughout the day, run it at night after dinner and put away the clean dishes in the am as I wait for the girls to get ready.
I’m less frustrated and annoyed with everyone and the tasks itself doesn’t trigger my anxiety. Win win!
This I actually picked up from the book The Lazy Genius by Kendra Adachi. (Link here). Trying to figure out what to eat for dinner everyday, what to wear every day or even gift giving can EASILY become overwhelming especially when you have to decide for all the other people in your family.
So what I do I decide once at the beginning of the week (Sundays typically) and the rest of my week is more manageable. On Sunday I’ll grocery shop and decide meals for the week, what myself or the kids will wear to school/daycare for the week or if there’s any events that needs gifts I’ll decide what to get and order or pick it up from the store.
It’s about getting it done not about making everyone happy. Deciding once saved my life.
Always remember to give yourself grace especially as a highly sensitive parent. You are more than likely doing everything you can do & more and being an amazing parent.